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Guidelines for Fathers Part 2: Fathers Need to Give Their Children Good Gifts
by Norman Bales
All About Families


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In part one of our series, we suggested that God is the perfect model of fatherhood. We are exploring concepts of fathering based on the following texts.

Matthew 6:6
"But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

Matthew 7:7-8
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

In this installment, we want to explore the fatherhood implications of Jesus' promise, "Ask and it will be given to you." Jesus elaborated on that thought in verses 9-11.

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

Our Heavenly Father doesn't play games with us. He doesn't trick us. He doesn't send us off on some kind of wild goose chase to teach us a lesson. He does the very opposite. He proves himself worthy of our trust by giving us "good gifts." I read about a man who wanted to teach his young son a lesson. So he put him up on a high table. He said, "Jump off the table, son. Daddy will catch you." The little boy wasn't much inclined to do that even it was his Daddy. The father kept saying, "Don't be afraid. I'll catch you." Finally the little boy worked up enough courage to jump and when he did, his father took a step back and the boy tumbled to the floor. The father said, "Son, let that be a lesson to you. Don't ever trust anybody, not even your own Father." I can't imagine a father that would do that. Quite likely he found it difficult to develop trusting relationships throughout the rest of his life. I know one thing for certain, "Our Heavenly Father" doesn't treat us that way. We can trust him to give us "good gifts."

We sometimes have a problem with this because we don't always know what good gifts are. Jesus said "If a boy asks bread will he give him a stone; if he asks for a fish will he give him a snake?" Jesus didn't answer the question. He doesn't give us the answer to the question because it's a no-brainer. Even evil people know how to give good gifts, but what Jesus didn't address in that text was what God does when the boy asks for a snake instead of a fish. Would a father give a three-year-old boy a copperhead for a pet? Of course not, but what if the boy insisted, "Daddy, the snake is so pretty?" You know the answer to that. That bright copper color can be deceiving. There's another side of fathering that comes into play at this point and we also learn that from our heavenly Father. The Hebrew writer wrote these words in Hebrews 12:10, "God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness." Earthly fathers do that too.

Clearly our Heavenly Father teaches us to give "good gifts" to our children even when they don't recognize them as good gifts. I know my parenting style left a lot to be desired. I tried to give them good gifts and withhold those things that weren't good. In all honesty, I didn't always do that. But I think my life as a father would be very satisfying if my children were to stand around my casket some day (and I hope that will be a long time coming) and say, "You know, Dad tried to give us the right things, not necessarily what we wanted, but what we really needed."