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The Influence of Grandparents
by Norman Bales
All About Families


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Fifty-two years ago this summer, my grandfather, my younger cousin and I went fishing on the Pedernales River in the hill country of Texas. We spent two days on the riverbank trying to fool the fish. The picture remains permanently trapped in my memory bank. I’m sure any passing stranger would have viewed us as a strange trio – seventy-old, a fifteen year old and a twelve year old.

My grandpa was a special man. I have an old picture that shows him clutching a cane pole in one hand and a string of fish in the other. Grandpa shared a lot of things with me. The Pedernales trip was just one of the fun things we did together. We also worked together. Once we found ourselves working side by side in the cotton field. He was determined not to let the kid out work him. I was determined not to let the old man get ahead of me. The challenge exhausted both of us. He also passed along a love of music. Even though he only went to the second grade, he taught himself to read music. He loved to sight-sing new songs. More importantly, he shared his spiritual values and his devotion to the Lord. I enjoy an enormous heritage because of my grandpa - Charlie Bales.

Unfortunately we have come to a time in our world when many people no longer value cross-generational experiences. I guess it was a good thing that we were too poor to have a radio in every room in our house. My grandfather owned a battery operated Silvertone radio. Every day he saved up his battery time, so he could listen to his favorite Southern gospel quartet on the radio. When I was at his house, I heard them too and came to love the quartet as much as he did. I’m sort of glad we didn’t have any special teenage music. In the process, I came to appreciate older people, their values and their wisdom.

Our modern world has come to view old age as a curse. Some people think most of our senior citizens are senile. Sadly, many older people do suffer from some form of senile dementia, but they don’t come close to being in the majority. Most people over the age of 65 are mentally alert and capable of performing useful functions.

Grandparenting is one of those functions. According Proverbs 16:31, "Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life." Paul was grateful for the influence that Timothy’s grandmother Lois had on his young protégé. Grandparents are particularly needed in a world where so many mothers have joined the work force. Despite our protests, I don’t expect a significant reduction in female employment outside the home in the near future. Given that reality, many grandparents play a significant role and that’s not all bad. Grandchildren need to see models of godliness. They also need to hear the words of wisdom that go with gray hair, a lined face and weatherbeaten hands.

If you live close to your grandchildren, you have a unique opportunity to influence them. If you don’t live near them (we don’t live in close proximity to any of our grandchildren), you need to use every precious moment to express your values and give something of yourself. Above all, they need to see you model Christian deportment. Words will fall on deaf ears if there’s an obvious contradiction between talk and action. Who knows? You could be another Lois. That grandchild of yours could be another Timothy.

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