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Life is Tough Without Reverse
by Norman and Ann Bales
All About Families


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The late Wendy Bagwell once told a story about picking up a Volkswagen at the docks in one of our coastal cities. He received the car without any driving instructions. He started northward to his home in Georgia. Everything went fine until it was time to stop for lunch. He pulled into a restaurant, turned off the ignition and went inside to eat. When he returned to his car, he discovered that he couldn't find reverse. Eventually he had to push the car out into the street in order to continue on his journey.

Wendy's car had a reverse gear. He just didn't know how to find it. Think about how frustrating it would be if you owned a car that wouldn't back up. You could offer me a Lincoln Continental or a Cadillac Alante at a ridiculously low price and I wouldn't purchase it if you told me the car came without a reverse gear.

I never cease to be amazed at the number of people who try to carry on human relationships without reverse, even though they wouldn't dream of owning a car that won't back up. Marriages break up, parent-child alienation escalates, and relationships are sabotaged because people dig their heels into the ground and refuse to budge. Some people seem to think they would lose something vital to their survival if they ever say things like, "I was wrong," "It's my fault," "I made a big mistake," "Maybe you've got a point there," "Please forgive me." You won't die if you say, "Why don't we just back up and start over?"

We need to understand the destructive nature of pride. Most of us fear loss of face, but backing up doesn't mean you become a loser. More often than not the person who has the ability to back up makes the first move toward developing a win-win relationship. The Bible says "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall" (Proverbs 16:18). You need a reverse in your relationships as much as you need it in your car.

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