• Apologetics
  
• Arts Ministry
  
• Children's Ministry
  
• Evangelism
  
• Pastors
  
• Worship
  

WHY MARRIAGE?
Part 2:
Marriage and Sexual Ethics
by Norman and Ann Bales
All About Families

Sex is not an evil thing. God designed the human body and even placed the mechanisms within the body that bring people a sense of satisfaction. The Song of Solomon extols the virtue of sexual intimacy within marriage. God planned for us to fulfill sexual desire within the context of marriage, but a lot of folks are determined to ignore the Lord's plan. Some church leaders report that most of the people who want to be married in their congregations have already been sexually intimate. To be quite honest, many of the people who come to us for premarital counseling admit they have been sexually intimate with each other.

According to the sophisticated pundits of our time, nobody is going to refrain practicing sexual intimacy with someone other than their married partners just because "the Bible tells me so." Maybe not, but we're naïve enough to believe that some people still respect God's word and we would be remiss in our responsibility if we didn't share the Biblical message on that subject. Here it is in a nutshell.

In 1 Corinthians 7:1-2, Paul wrote, "Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband." After discussing the sexual needs of men and women, Paul wrote in verse 9, "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

The Bible recognizes the fact that people normally have sexual needs. The need for sexual fulfillment is legitimate. God made us that way. "Marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled" (Hebrews 13:4 - KJV). In his infinite wisdom God designed a living arrangement between men and women in which that need could be satisfied. That system is called marriage. Within the context of marriage and when conducted according to Biblical principles (read all of the text in the first 9 verses of 1 Corinthians 7) sex is clean, pure, wholesome and satisfying. God knew what he was doing. He doesn't need us to fine-tune his plans.

We should also understand that certain consequences attach themselves to those who ignore God's arrangement. Thus far the statistical evidence suggests that those who cohabit prior to marriage are more likely to divorce than those who don't. Whitehead and Popenoe noted, "The act of cohabitation generates changes in people's attitudes toward marriage that make the stability of marriage less likely." Premarital sex often creates enormous guilt feelings that complicate the relationship later on. If you want to look at the subject from a purely pragmatic viewpoint, the threat of sexually transmitted diseases ought to be enough to convince any rational person that sex outside of marriage is not a good thing. It is extremely rare to ever hear of AIDS ravaging a family where husbands and wives are faithful to each other. Oh yes, we know about contaminated needles, blood transfusions and all the rest, but statistically the risks are enormously smaller among those who observe the sexual ethics of the Bible.

From a Christian perspective, we can say that sexual intimacy outside of marriage creates three enormous risks (1) The disapproval of God. ("whoremongers and adulterers, God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4, KJV). (2) The loss of the opportunity to enjoy "guilt-free" sex. (3) The opportunity to participate in the most meaningful human relationship in this life. On the positive side of the ledger, those who observe the Biblical limitations on sex are free to grow and develop in this most satisfying form of intimacy. In reality, it's a no-brainer. When sex is kept within the confines of marriage everybody wins!