• Apologetics
  
• Arts Ministry
  
• Children's Ministry
  
• Evangelism
  
• Pastors
  
• Worship
  

Involuntary Transition
Part 4: How Much Self-Analysis Should We Allow Ourselves?
by Norman and Ann Bales
All About Families


Send this page to a friend

Tom Madison, a forty-five year old husband and father of four, felt like his well-organized life was shattered when he received a notice of termination from his company last week. For twenty years Tom thought he made all the right moves for his company, his family and himself. He was a loyal company man, the kind of worker who came early and stayed late. He often showed up on Saturdays to put the finishing touches on a project. The people in management often commended Tom's brilliance and commended his initiative. He was rewarded with generous pay raises and promotions.

Sometimes Tom felt his family got the short end of the stick, but his generous pay package made it possible for the family to take exciting vacations. His children attended private schools. He could afford to take his children to the orthodontists. His wife didn't have to work in order to help make ends meet. Their oldest child graduated from high school last May and begins attending college this month. Other parents worried about how to meet college expenses. Tom had put money aside. He had every reason to believe that he would be promoted into upper management by the end of the year.

All that was prior to last week, when Blaine Harrison, the company CEO, called him into the office. The firm had been purchased by a larger company. Actually, "purchased" was a somewhat charitable term. The firm had been stolen in a hostile stock takeover. Most middle management personnel would be replaced. Tom would no longer be working for the firm. Now he is forty-five years old, with an enormous mortgage, one child in college and three who expect to attend college during the next six years. What is going to become of Tom and his family?

If Tom is not careful, he will fall into the trap of "analysis paralysis." He's already thinking he should have seen it coming and developed an alternate strategy. He may play the "What if" game. "What if I had started my own business when I had the chance?" "What if I had bought a smaller house and put more investments?" "What if I had worked harder and made myself completely indispensable to the future of the firm?"

Or he may want to play the "Why didn't I" game. "Why didn't I develop a game plan for involuntary termination?" "Why didn't I anticipate this turn of events and make my exit under more favorable conditions?" "Why didn't I accept that offer to go work for our competitor when the job was offered ten years ago?"

Tom can analyze the situation forever. In the process, he may well learn pitfalls he'll want to avoid next time. That's a positive thing. On the other hand, he may spend so much time identifying all the potential hazards that he will be afraid to take a calculated risk that might make his future better. Perhaps he'll blame himself for everything that went wrong. He'll feel a certain since of nobility because he's taking responsibility for his own actions. However, if the truth were known, he had absolutely no control over the sequence of events that resulted in the hostile takeover. The people who made the decision to let him go didn't know him the way Blaine does and they didn't even want to get acquainted with him. That might unduly influence their decision to terminate workers solely on the basis of the company's economic future. Human feelings never entered into their decision.

After Tom has done this soul searching, analyzing and inward purging of himself, he will discover that the process does not put another dollar in his pocket. It does not make the mortgage payment on his house and it does not send his children to college. Tom's involuntary transition is not fair, but cursing injustice will not put groceries on the table. There comes a time when you must make the decision to rise from the ashes of despair and rebuild your life. A Christian perspective on human trials can be most helpful during involuntary transition. The apostle Paul was thinking about a different kind of involuntary transition when he wrote 2 Corinthians. But his thoughts in 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 seem apropos for Tom Madison and the thousand of people who have walked in his shoes. "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

NEXT WEEK: "Suggestions for Coping With Involuntary Transition"

Send this page to a friend: