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WHY MARRIAGE?
Part 1:
Can the Biblical Marriage Survive?
by Norman and Ann Bales
All About Families

"It's knowing I'm not shackled by forgotten words and bonds and the ink stains that have dried upon some lines." - John Hartford. Gentle on My Mind.

"For the first time in our nation's history, a child living in a single parent family is just as likely to be living with a never married parent as with a divorced parent." - Glen T. Stanton. Why Marriage Matters (1997).

"If family trends of recent decades are extended into the future, the result will be not only growing uncertainty within marriage, but the gradual elimination of marriage in favor of casual liaisons oriented to adult expressiveness and fulfillment." - David Popenoe (1996). "Marriage remains very important to adult Americans - probably more important than it has ever been - while the proportion of Americans married has declined and the proportion successfully married has declined even more." - Norval Glenn "Values, Attitudes and State of the American Marriage." (1996).

"Cohabitation is replacing marriage as the first living together experience for young men and women. When blushing brides walk down the aisle in the 1990s, more than half have already lived together with a boyfriend." - Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and David Popenoe. The National Marriage Project (1999).

Sometimes we wonder how such a large number of people in society have come to think that marriage is undesirable. It probably has something to do with the skyrocketing divorce rate. There can be little question that ethics have taken a major hit in the last forty years. The loss of confidence in marriage is part of the fallout. When you put all that together with an almost universal insistence on the right of instant gratification, it's not difficult to understand why a rather sizable company of detractors has raised their voices against marriage.

At the risk of sounding like simple-minded prooftexters, we are going to briefly state the Biblical case for marriage.

• God is the inventor of marriage (Genesis 2:20-24).
  
• Sexual intimacy is an honorable and pure thing, but outside of marriage, it is against God's teaching and those who do it risk incurring serious penalties (1 Corinthians 6:12-7:1; Hebrews 12:4).
  
• The only legitimate marriage is a marriage between opposite sex partners (Romans 1:26-32; 1 Corinthians 6:9).
  
• Marriage is intended to be permanent (Matthew 19:6-9).

We do not question the fact that the Biblical view of marriage is being called upon to sustain an enormous amount of pressure in the current social environment. In some quarters it is facing a barrage of hostile attackers. Christians are not immune to these attacks. Some attempt to maintain their allegiance to Christ while looking for "wiggle room" when it comes to morality. Outward and inward pressures can often make marriage difficult. Besides all that, successful marriage requires an enormous effort and some people aren't willing to pay the price. The question is, "Can marriage survive?"

We believe it is still possible for one woman and one man to stay married to each other until that union is separated by death. Marital stress is inevitable even in the best of marriages. Marriages will pass through many different crisis periods - job changes, moving, personality differences, serious illness, child-rearing problems, in-law conflicts, money problems. The list goes on and on. But if two people are married to each other and both of them really want to make it work, they can with God's help.

Whether marriage survives the current barrage of attacks is dependent upon the willingness of our contemporaries to opt for the responsible choices. When it comes down it to it, we would like to believe that many, if not most people, see the wisdom of making responsible ethical choices. We recently heard a radio clip from one of Dr. Laura's radio programs. She was discussing sexual freedom. "How do you define sexual freedom?" she asked. Does sexual freedom include the right of an adult to have sex with an eleven-year-old? Should a child grow up and marry a parent? Then she asked, "Do you get my point?" It's pretty clear that all of us want some boundaries. We believe the most logical and most satisfying choice is marriage.

But the survivability of a marriage depends on a mutual belief in it and commitment to the institution of marriage itself. In a world where that's being called into question, we need to take a careful look at the reasons for being married.

NEXT WEEK: "Marriage and Sexual Ethics"