How to Encourage Faith in Families (Titus 2:1-10) by Norman and Ann Bales All About Families
Part Two: Does The Way You Talk Encourage Or Discourage Faith?
When Paul urged Titus to involve himself in the instruction of the older women on the island of Crete, he urged them to train the younger women in the development of positive relationship skills, "so that no one will malign the word of God" (Titus 2:5). At the end of this section on relationship skills, he stated his objective in outlining such a comprehensive program of action - " . . . to make the teaching about God our Savior attractive."
We have chosen to group these various relationship principles under three headings that relate to encouraging faith development
principles that govern speech.
principles that govern attitude
principles that govern behavior.
Over the next three weeks, we will discuss these principles.
Things to Avoid
Slander. In his instruction to older women, Paul wrote, "Don't be slanderers." We should not understand Paul to be saying that older women have problems with slander, while others don't. In Cretan society, the problem among older women must have been particularly acute. W. E. Vine said slanderers are "those who are given to fault finding with the demeanor and conduct of others, spreading their innuendoes and criticisms in the church." You don't make the faith attractive to anyone when your conversation is filled with spiteful invectives and constant bashing negative assessments of people. Slanderers are not admired and people are not encouraged to emulate their values when negative conversation is the main staple around the dinner table. Many of us fall into the habit of doing it without even realizing what is taking place. When our daughter was a teenager, one day she asked, "Have you ever thought what it would sound like if we put a tape recorder beneath the dining room table and recorded our conversations." From that time on, when dinnertime conversations got out of hand, someone would inevitably say, "The tape recorder is running."
Alcohol abuse. In the same context, Paul warned the older women, "Don't be addicted to much wine" (3). The same warning was issued to prospective elders (1:7). It also occurs in Paul's first letter to Timothy (1 Timothy 3:3,8). Have you ever wondered why the scriptures issue such warnings? Of course, it's obvious that alcohol is a mind-altering substance and affects our ability to think clearly. However, in this context, it would appear that there is a connection between the warning against alcohol and the warning against slander. Perhaps the older women were held in such low regard that they occupied themselves with drinking wine and gossiping. Wine has a way of "oiling the tongue." Recently, Ann and I went out to a restaurant for dinner. We asked to be placed in the non-smoking section. We were actually placed on the dividing line, within a few feet of the bar. The bar is a very noisy place. It was obvious that some of the patrons were in a state of inebriation. It occurred to me that they were probably saying things that they would find embarrassing if their own words were repeated back to them after they sobered up. Obviously such behavior does not make "the teaching about God our Savior attractive."
Reactionary speech. In verse 9, Paul described the principles of behavior that ought to govern Christian slaves in their relationship with their masters. Thankfully we don't live under a slave system today. However the relationship principles are still very much needed in many different contexts. Paul told the slaves not to talk back to their masters. Too often we feel like we have an exemption from that principle in the family. Even when we yield our wills to other family members, we can't resist getting a parting shot, a cute put down to belittle the other person. We like to play the one-upmanship game in human relations. We think it important to have the last word. Then we think we come out winners when we lose. Actually, in terms of faith enhancement, everyone loses. Most of all, we lose the opportunity to make the gospel attractive.
Effective Speech
Word Are Effective Instruments of Communication. The term "teach" appears frequently within the text - "teach what is in accord with sound doctrine" (1), "teach the older men" (2), "teach the older women" (3), "in your teaching show integrity" (7), "teach slaves." The Christians who lived on the island of Crete didn't automatically know how to conduct themselves in a way that would enable them to pass their faith on to others. It was important for Titus to set an example (7), but it takes more than being a good example. It takes more than avoiding the wrong things. It's important to use well chosen words.
Teach Positive Things. The older women were urged to "teach what is good" (3). They were also to "train the younger women to love their husbands and children." Good things will not happen in the home unless the right people say the right things. On the positive side, think of the enormous amount of good that is done when the right people do say the right things. "A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver" (Proverbs 25:11). We've all heard the phrase "a picture is a worth a thousand words." Sometimes, however, the right word, spoken at the right time, can make an impression that a picture doesn't make. When Franklin D. Roosevelt spoke to the American people in the midst of the Great Depression, he said, "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself." Those were the right words, spoken by the right person at the right time. They gave the nation hope. Carefully chosen words can do much to encourage faith in our families.
