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Coffee And... Tall Tales
by Louise Bergmann DuMont (Louise's bio)
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"Ow!" I cried, fanning my tongue with one hand, while trying to keep from spilling the coffee held in the other.
"I told you it was hot," my husband all too patiently remarked.
"You didn't say it was going to take a dozen layers off my tongue!" I replied with my mouth wide open to catch a cool breeze.
"Oh, Mom. There you go again! You know it didn't really take any layers off your tongue," my son, Tim, remarked rolling his eyes in a manner that only a six-foot-four sixteen-year-old can.
"How do you know?" I defended myself. "And so what if I use a little license to exaggerate once and a while. It's not as if others don't know that writers 'color' their speech. Haven't you ever heard of literary license?"
My twenty-year-old, Alan, chimed in, "It's one thing to exaggerate when you're writing fiction, Mom, but you have developed a bad habit of stretching the truth in every conversation."
"What are you talking about? I've told you a million times that I never stretch the truth."
All three men in the room raised their eyebrows. "Wh-at? Oh, you're all annoyed because I said 'a million times' aren't you. Well the truth is that nine times out of ten I don't stretch the truth at all."
Alan turned to Tim and just shrugged his shoulders, "She's hopeless!" he sighed.
"Now what? You don't think that I can keep from exaggerating? Well let me tell you something…um… I can. You just watch." I sputtered, afraid to say more.
I stomped to the kitchen and began opening and closing cabinet doors rather loudly.
"What's for dinner?" my teenager asked strolling into the kitchen.
"Food." I replied a bit more curtly than I wanted to.
"I know that! What are you making."
"I thought I'd make chicken lips and lizard gills," I replied before I could stop myself.
"Really! That sounds interesting!" He grinned from ear to ear as he headed back into the living room encouraging his brother back into the fray, "Hey Alan, guess what? Since mom isn't exaggerating any more, she's really making chicken lips and lizard gills for dinner this time. Sounds good doesn't it?"
Alan immediately took up the torch and entered the kitchen ready for the competition, "Well, I think you made it through one sentence before exaggerating again. Want to try for two?"
"No." I replied, figuring he couldn't get me with that answer.
As I prepared dinner in silence, God confirmed to me what my boys already knew.
But, God, I thought, I'm not lying. Most of the time I'm just trying to emphasize a point or using some silly expression. It's all in fun!
My thoughts rang hollow in my head and the Lord's silence convicted me all the more. Suddenly I could think of many occasions where my "fun" was not as clear as I expected it to be.
OK Lord, I get the idea. Maybe I need to be a little more careful with my words. I admitted.
As I pulled out the package of hotdogs I would prepare for dinner I found myself still trying to justify my words. "Hum, I wonder if they really do put chicken lips and lizard gills in here. Now wouldn't that be interesting!" I thought.
Some people play games with computers others play games with golf balls… I play with words. I enjoy making them dance in ways that stimulate the mind and soul. At times I feel I do a fairly good job and I thank God for the gift that allows me to share my stories. But along with the gift comes a responsibility. Until the day they make hotdogs with chicken lips, I think I may have to learn just a bit more restraint.
"And I tell you this, that you must give an account on judgment day of every careless word you put forth."
Matthew 12:36
Copyright 2002, Louise Bergmann DuMont. All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
| About Louise Bergmann DuMont: Louise Bergmann DuMont is the facilitator of the North Jersey Christian Writer's Group and a recent winner of CWG's 2001 conference scholarship. She has written for numerous local periodicals, journals and newspapers and recently began expanding her horizons to include more widely circulated publications. Louise's interests include gifted/learning-disabled children and fiction/fantasy writing. She is married and has three sons. E-mail Louise |
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