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The Caped Defender:
The Caped Defender in... Defeated Before the Master of Midnight
by The Caped Defender (The Caped Defender's bio)
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It was on the planet Nurtleteck (rhymes with "turtleneck") where I squared off against my old enemy, The Master of Midnight. He had taken control of the population through his underground…
(EDITORIAL SIDE NOTE: The Master of Midnight is not the Caped Defender's old enemy, but Thunder Man's enemy.)
He is too! I just fought this guy last weekend!
(EDITORIAL SIDE NOTE: No. No you didn't. Thunder Man did. You were busy watching the "Spider-Man" movie three times opening weekend! And if you continue on with these baseless claims, I am canceling "The Caped Defender" column and running encore presentations of Louise DuMont's "Coffee and…" column from our Women's channel in your spot.)
(EDITORIAL SIDE SIDE NOTE: Louise DuMont's column can be seen at: http://www.crosshome.com/women.shtml .)
You wouldn't!
(EDITORIAL SIDE NOTE: I would.)
Stop giving her free plugs in my column! You're only doing this because she made you that German Coffee Cake with cinnamon and walnuts at last week's "Crosshome Columnist Convention and Picnic" isn't it?
(EDITORIAL SIDE NOTE: How sweet it was! I still have three boxes in my cabinet. And they are much better then the box of stale Twinkies you brought. Now continue on with your column or I will tell your fiancé you cried like a four year old girl, every time you saw Spider-Man's Uncle Ben die.)
You wouldn't!
(EDITORIAL SIDE NOTE: Try me.)
AHEM! As I was saying, Thunder Man and I were discussing his latest adventure from the planet Nurtleteck (ironically over coffee). He tells me, that he needed to find the power source to free the people of Nurtleteck.
"Well there I was…on my knees before the Master of Midnight's throne," Thunder Man says. "I'd been looking for the Mind Control Array for days now and I couldn't find it. The Master of Midnight's Robo-Snakes ambushed me and now had me before their master."
"What did you do?" I ask.
"I looked for it," he says. "I missed it the first two times, but when I looked the third time there it was – the Mind Control Array under the throne."
"Really?" I ask. "It would make more sense to hide it underground or off planet or something."
"That's what I thought too," Thunder Man says. "When I saw where it was - I got my hands free. Then I clapped my hands together releasing a burst of lightning. It destroyed the throne and the Mind Control Array all in one bolt."
"Let me guess," I begin. "The Master of Midnight got away and promised to fight you another day and so on and so forth…"
Thunder Man chuckles as he gulps his coffee. "Always. It always goes that way. But you know what it is interesting?"
"What's that?"
"I would've never have had a clear view of the Array until I was weakened and on my knees," Thunder Man says.
Third column in a row I am quoting the Apostle Paul, but the Apostle Paul knows his stuff! In Second Corinthians Chapter Twelve, Paul begs God to take away something he calls "A Thorn in the Flesh." However God responds in verse nine (NIV):
But [God] said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
"Defender, I wouldn't have been able to complete my mission until I was stripped of my powers," Thunder Man says. "I can create storms, I can fly on the winds, I can travel into outer space, but I couldn't save the planet Nurtleteck until I was on my knees without a hope."
I laugh.
"That's funny, when I am forced on my knees, all I can do is look up," I say.
Thunder Man shrugs. "Great place to start."
"Hey can I ask you one thing?"
"Sure."
"Why do they call you 'Thunder Man,' yet you have a lightning bolt insignia on your chest?" I ask.
Thunder Man sighs and buries his hooded and masked head in his hands.
"You wouldn't happen to have any German Coffee Cake?" he asks.
"Yeah, I just happened to have three boxes that someone…gave me…yeah that's it…they gave it to me," I say as I walk to the kitchen.
(EDITORIAL SIDE NOTE: Hey! Who took all my German Coffee Cake?)
Copyright 2002, The Caped Defender. All rights reserved. Used with permission.
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About The Caped Defender: The Caped Defender resides in his secret "Defender Lair" in an anonymous town in New Jersey. He is currently engaged. However, at the request of his beautiful fiancé, and I quote "Please, please, please don't mention my real name!" The Caped Defender collects comic books and wants to be a writer. EDITOR'S NOTE AND OPINION: He needs help. Lots. Thank you. You can e-mail The Caped Defender at Thecapeddefender@yahoo.com |
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